Monday, 24 December 2007

Seasonal greetings

Every Christmastime I seem inclined to say something precious and heartfelt about, you know, the fellow man and all that, which I know is undoubtedly excruciating for everyone involved. But honestly, no one can sing a Christmas wish better than Kermit (or pull off such sappy lyrics with such earnestness), so I give you his work. Also, in the spirit of Christmas, I hope no one sues me for copyright infringement.

The Christmas Wish (Wheetman)

I don't know if you believe in Christmas,
or if you have presents underneath the Christmas tree.
But if you believe in love, that will be more than enough
for you to come and celebrate with me.

For I have held the precious gift that love brings
even though I've never saw a Christmas star.
But I know there is a light, I have felt it burn inside,
and I can see it shining from afar.

Christmas is a time to come together, a time to put all differences aside.
And I reach out my hand to the family of man
to share the joy I feel at Christmas time.

For the truth that binds us all together, I would like to say a simple prayer.
That at this special time, you will have true peace of mind
and love to last throughout the coming year.

And if you believe in love, that will be more than enough
for peace to last throughout the coming year.
And peace on earth will last throughout the year.

Monday, 17 December 2007

On my possible secret life

My brother-in-law is convinced that I work for the CIA, and I think he may be on to something. I can never adequately explain what I do for a living, I travel around Europe on so-called business at the drop of a hat, and I carry a wide assortment of technological equipment on my person at most times. I passed through customs last year carrying no less than 8 mobile phones, waving the matter away by claiming I worked for a company involved with mobile phone software that was giving a presentation the next day. See? The perfect cover.

But what of my constant polemics against the present governmental situation in the United States of America? Well of course; I'd need to throw you off the scent. It all fits. In fact, perhaps my conspiracy theories about the CIA are, in reality, grounded in cold hard fact, and I am simply using this blog as an outlet for my double-or-more agentry.

I leave you to ponder this theory. Bring me my poison-tipped umbrella and hand me my vial of polonium, my dear. I'm just going outside, I may be some time.

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

Should we talk about the weather, should we talk about the government

I'm in a complaining mood today, and what better to complain about than the economy?

Even the mainstream news seems to think we're in for it (well, those of us like me who participate, more or less, in the faith-based monetary system of Bush's America):

"The national debt — the total accumulation of annual budget deficits — is up from $5.7 trillion when President Bush took office in January 2001 and it will top $10 trillion sometime right before or right after he leaves in January 2009."

Ah, a parting gift. How sweet.

But gee, how did it get that way? Perhaps a conflagration of issues, but this one doesn't help:

"Aggravating the debt picture: the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, which the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office estimates could cost $2.4 trillion over the next decade."

But hey, maybe we could pay it off in Rupees or somesuch. After all, "The dollar is down about 35 percent since the end of 2001 against a basket of major currencies."

Put simply, you know you're in sad shape when Ross Perot is right:

"The national debt [in 1992] stood at $4 trillion and Perot displayed charts showing it would soar to $8 trillion by 2007 if left unchecked. He was about a trillion low."

(I guess even Ross couldn't have predicted that Iraq would attack the World Trade Center.*)

Sorry for all the quotes, but look: This administration has mortgaged my entire country for a fabricated, fear-mongering, illegal, unnecessary and wholly unsuccessful invasion. If and when America recovers from the coming recession (and I hope that's all it will be), the Bush regime will hopefully begin to be remembered in its rightful place as the worst criminal syndicate to ever steal the Oval Office.

* Just checking that you're paying attention.

Sunday, 2 December 2007

Bear-faced cheek

My ever-indomitable (and quite possibly indestructible) mate Danny posted this over on NewsMonster:

Am I wrong in thinking this would make a great Beanie Baby? Ty Corporation, where are you when we need you?

I play all day
At toys and games
But in Sudan
I can't be named!

As an added bonus, when squeezed, the bear will play an excerpt from Devo's "Whip It".