Tuesday, 8 January 2008

Pun topic of the day: musical notation

So this hemisemidemiquaver walks into a bar...

"We could make beautiful music together," he says, "but first I'll need your signature."

"Oh, give it a rest," she retorts.

"You make me whole," said the quarter note to the dotted half.

"Stop," she replied, "you're making me treble."

Two chords are playing strip poker in the corner. "You lose," says one, "now you have to baritone."

A minor suddenly runs in from the street. "Can somebody help, I've got a flat!"

(your turn?)

3 Comments:

At 09 January 2008 15:50 , Blogger Slimbolala said...

I can't think of damn thing. Your brain is weird.

 
At 11 January 2008 16:44 , Blogger Cellar Door said...

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The
bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors."

So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have
an open fifth between them. After a few drinks,
the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F
comes in and tries to augment the situation, but
is not sharp enough.

A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the
bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a
second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender
is not convinced that this relative of C is not a
minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding
at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out
now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar
tonight."

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to
the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with
nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a
nice corporate job until his company downsized)
says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in!
This could be a major development." This proves
to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit,
and everything else, and stands there au natural.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in
horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to
trial, is found guilty of contributing to the
diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of
DS without Coda at an upscale correctional
facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent
of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all
accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's
only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the
bathroom, and everything has become alto much
treble, he needs a rest - and closes the bar.

 
At 13 January 2008 01:51 , Blogger Wesley said...

Brilliantly done, I must say.

 

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